Author Topic: Life Turns  (Read 99 times)

Chaz

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Life Turns
« on: October 25, 2020, 03:39:04 PM »
I find that life has it's turns.  They are often unexpected, and not always welcome, but by the end, alwasys interesting in how things worked out.

It seems that Gibbon started something.  He asked about my Ngondro practice in a thread a couple weeks ago, and it truned into a brain worm of sorts.  I've been thinking about Ngondro a lot.

I stopped my practice about 4 years ago.  The main reason was that I had lost interest in my goal - fulfillment of the prelininaries to tantric/Vajrayana practices.  Reasons aside, I decided that I wasn't going to be that kind of practitioner, and if so, the practice on Ngondro wasn't particularly important, so I stopped.

I've always felt bad about that.  The empowerments given for practices of this sort come with the obligation to perform the practice faithfully, untill released by the Guru.  While there are no deadlines involved (it takes as long as it takes.  One mentor I had took 15 years), you don't move on intil your finished.  Traditionally, that means 100,000 repetitions of 4 practices - Refuge, Vajrasattva, Mandala and Guru Yoga.  Many western lineage holders are asking students for 20,000 each. Mine does, but that's still a pretty big number..........anyway ......... I felt bad about stopping practice.  I had agreed to contunine and I wasn't.  That's not very good Karma. But still, they don't come and take away your Super Secret Vajra Decoder Ring over it.  Life, such as it is, goes on.

Well, Life it seems has gone (back?) to a place where resuming the practice seems likely.  I'm gathering materials.  Talking with an old friend about it.  Studying the liturgry.  It's good.

Along with Gib's gentle push, this forum has served as well.  My feelings about FreeSanga have changed since Wonky and I put the forum back together.  We turned a page.  The forum has the same name and the same look , but it's still new and that means new possibilities. Something can be built here. It's exciting.  It has me thinking about things in a way I haven't seen in a long time.  We're getting off to a slow start, but that's ok.

I'm glad you're all here.

Gibbon

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Re: Life Turns
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2020, 08:02:07 PM »
Hi Chaz,

I am so happy I am just tearing up!  Yes, once a promise has been given, something in the mind was set in motion, and going back on that promise creates an obstacle.   Congratulations on restarting your ngondro!! 

I guess now we can commiserate about the process, which will take quite a while.  My prostrations are not going super fast, but they are moving along.  The old knees objected at the beginning, but now they seem to have gotten into the swing of things.  Slow and steady really does it.

Yes, this forum, whether large or small, does it work well.  It was a great idea to revive it.  I hope more of the old timers come back.  Something really good can be built/rebuilt here.

« Last Edit: October 26, 2020, 08:23:32 PM by Gibbon »

 

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